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Disciples, Disciples, Everywhere

Scene 1:
Simon Peter and Judas (not Iscariot) were walking down the street in full disciple package when out from nowhere jumps this totally kronked pirate with like 6 parrots on his shoulders and he's all like "Arrrrrgh."  So, Simon Peter puts away his book and ties his hair with a leather thong.  Then he fully BONKS the pirate's parrots ONE RIGHT AFTER ANOTHER until all the parrots are down for the count.  Then, Judas (not Iscariot) stuffs a pen RIGHT IN THE PIRATE'S EYEPATCH!  They both get so pumped they elbow each other and have seizures.
Scene 2:
Matthew is having a pretty normal day (scowling at everyone as usual) when suddenly the ground drops out beneath his feet and about a billion ninjas with hippo slaves come flying out of Home Depot on the other side of the street.  Our hero is not daunted, but he calls up the other disciples.  Just as quick as you can say Mary Magdalene, the street is filled with disciples fully BONKING all the ninjas and their hippos.  The air fills with ethereal music and the sound of hippos screaming.  When the smoke clears five minutes later, only the disciples are standing.  Out of the sky drop 12 harps and each disciple catches one (even Thomas who prefers to play the jug).  They wail on the harps as hot first century Jerusalem babes flock to them and the scene fades to black.

After I wrote this, I body-slammed Mr. Rogers and then I realized it wasn't Mr. Rogers but my pet lizard.  He was like DUDE!  So, I flushed him down the toilet.  I had to buy a new lizard, but I think this speaks for itself.