The Devil went down to Jerusalem.  He was lookin' for a soul to steal.  He
was in a bind 'cause he was way behind, and he was willin' to make a deal,
when he came across this young man sawin' on a harp and playin' it hot.  And

the devil jumped up on a Fish Taco stand and said, "Boy, let me tell you
what.  I guess you didn't know it but I'm a harp player, too.  And if you'd
care to take a dare, I'll make a bet with you.  Now, you play a pretty good
harp, boy, but give the devil his due.  I'll bet a harp of gold against your

soul, 'cause I think I'm better than you."  The boy said, "My name's Simon
Peter, and it might be a sin.  But, I'll take your bet, you're gonna regret,

'cause I'm the best that's ever been."

Simon, limber up your hands and play your harp hard, 'cause hell's broke
loose in Jerusalem and the devil deals the cards.  And if you win you get
this shiny harp made of gold.  But if you lose, the devil gets your soul.

The devil pulled out his harp and he said, "You're gonna need some luck."
And fire flew from his fingertips as he quickly began to pluck. And he
pulled his fingers across the strings and it made an evil hiss. Then a band
of demons joined in and it sounded somethin' like this: Fire in Galelei.
Run, boys, run. The devil's in the House of the Rising Sun. Sandals on their

feet and no gel in their hair. Earth might become the devil's lair.

When the devil finished, Simon said, "Well, you're pretty good, old son, but

sit down in that chair right there and let me show you how it's done.

(totally sweet harp music here)

The devil bowed his head because he knew that he'd been beat. And he laid
that golden harp on the ground at Simon's feet. Simon said, "Devil, just
come on back if you ever want to try again. 'Cause I told you once, you
fallen angel of the lord, I'm the best that's ever been."

 

Now.. this is a story all about how
Some pirates got flipped turned, upside down
and I'd like to take a minute , just sit right there
I'll tell you how the disciples bonked the pirates right on their hair.

In Jerusalem, Israel born and raised
In the desert is where they spent most of their days
Following Jesus, Relaxing, all cool
Eating some fish tacos outside with a mule

When a couple of pirates (who said argggh) were up to no good
Started making trouble in Disciple Hood
John and Simon just walked up with their staffs, the pirates got scared
Matt said you better get out of here and bonked the pirates on the hair.

This very same day the disciples wailed on their harps
Saved a Child from a burning building
All in a days work

And I'll tell you truly
I would not lie
This is exactly what happened
I know for a fact
because my friend Rusty was there

 

 

Ninjas, pirate and bigfoot,

Then the Disciples...

The rest was bonking.

 

 

Yeah, so there I was
Walking along with my coz
When what did we see
but Sweet D. Pete

"Whoa! It's Disciple Pete!"
Check it out! Sandals on his feet!"
And Low and Behold
Sandals peeked out beneath his robe folds

"D. Pete! D. Pete! Where you walking?"
"There's some Pirate dudes who need a BONKING!"
"Dude, that kicks! You are so the man!"
"If you want to be a Disciple, you know you can."

"Whoa! No way! What'do we do?"
"Find yourself a leper and give him a shoe."
So we took off, to give a leper a shoe
Luckily enough, I saw a leper I knew

"Three-toe Joe! What d'ya know?"
"I lost my best shoe and don't know where to go!"
"Then I've got good news, my partial friend,
I've brought you a shoe, call it Godsend!"

And Three-toe Joe put on the new shoe
and discovered all of the sudden, something he can do
For Three-toe Joe, a leper by chance,
Invented the sweet, kicking Leper Dance!

Then Sweet D. Pete, he came flying down
And the party we had was the talk of the town
Disciple and Leper, danced until dawn
But when the cock crowed
Disciple Peter, he was gone

 

 

 

His name was Simon Peter but his friends all called him Si,
He was rocking in the East then with a taco and some pie.
The desert it was long and hot and major killer dry,
But Simon was so cool that no sand got in his eye.

Now Simon Peter, you should know, always got the job done.
There was nothing that he couldn't do, with a rocking pun.
He bonked bad guys on the head all day, mostly just for fun,
And when he strolled on into town, his enemies did run.

"Jerusalem," he said aloud, "it's been a long long time.
It's good to see the streets are still kept clean of grime,
And that I still have this rocking ability to rhyme."
And the people were all cheering, 'cause he gave them all a dime.

He fetched a cat down from a tree, because he was so nice,
And when the cat climbed up again, good Si he fetched it twice.
The people gaped up at his hair, which had no gel or lice,
And that cat climbed up the tree again, so Si he fetched it thrice!

And Bigfoot and the ninjas all knew when they were beat,
And even the pirates had to leave, kicking with their feet,
For all the hot Jerusalem babes thought Si was so neat.
Simon Peter flashed a winning smile and served up hot dog meat.

So let this be an inspiration to all you Disciples-to-be.
To walk with them across the desert, all you've gotta see
Is that Discipline is a state of mind, so chill and rock with me,
And maybe on that someday soon you can rock with Simon P.