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Don't Tell Jesus, the Babysitter's Dead!


Scene 1

Its a beautiful day in Jerusalem and all 12 Disciples are hanging out in the ghetto playing double dutch jump rope except Thomas who is playing hopscotch. Jesus, looking totally sweet in his white robe and killer sandals, comes out of the apartment. Hes like "DUDES! Nice form! Im going to the store for frozen burritos." He leaves Martha of Bethany in charge and leaves and doesnt even think twice about it. Simon Peter is like "Sweet! Martha make me a fish taco" only then he realizes Marthas not Martha but a totally kronked-out pirate complete with eyepatch, peg-leg and beard! James the Elder is like "Pirate, you aint got no game!" and James the Younger (or the less) who is one bad Disciple fully BONKS the pirate and sends him packing! Without warning, the pirates parrot ninja kicks both James into next week! It doesnt take long and the other Disciples, especially Thomas who is an expert parrot fighter, take out the parrot.


Scene 2

An hour later and many fish tacos later Jesus come walking back while this cool music plays. He is munching some KFC! He comes up to the Disciples and is all "Wheres Martha?" and Simon Peter is like "Dunno" so Jesus says "You will deny Martha 3 times" and Pete is like "will not" and Jesus is like "pffft thats one" and Pete goes "what? Its not either" and Jesus is all "Thats two" and Pete says "Harumph!" and Christ is like "See. What I tell ya?" and goes inside whistling Dixie. John the Beloved is like "he showed you dude." Then they all laugh and wail on their harps!!!!



It's cool. Martha was okay. And when she found out about what had happened she got so pumped she bad-mouthed Rosie O'Donnell for an hour!!!!